Sunday, December 6, 2009

More on my awakening

Well, my awakening or reawakening as it may be has been going on now for over 2 years. I really wish that I would have journaled it all here along the way. With my mind so crammed with information it is tough for me to remember in much detail things that have happened. After all our brains take in millions of bits of information per second and we only sustain like 16 bits of those, and then those eventually fade as well. So I guess what I'm saying is that in order to present really good documentation of the strange occurences that I've experienced over the last two years, I should have been typing them down as they happened.

But other than accessing the Akashic Records, there is no way for me currently to go back to make that happen. But I still want to start from here, and type up my mind ramblings and things going on. I will incorporate things from the last two years here and there.

Growing up I was a very left brained person. I was driven to make the top grade in the class at all times. I always thought it was to live up to the legacy left behind from my much older brothers and sisters. I had to live up to hearing about how smart they were and how good they were at sports. In reality it was probably more to make up for other insecurities that we pick up along the way.

However with this very logical mind, was also a lot of tough to explain phenomena. In the form of knowing, and feeling things. I didn't know as a child that I was any different than anyone else. I just thought that I was pretty normal and that everyone goes through what I'm feeling and experiencing. No big deal you think. It took years and years of conditioning in this world to the seperation they promote of us all to realize how different that I seemed to be. Fortunately, I guess, depending on how you look at it, I found ways to fit in completely. Mostly through playing sports. When you are good at sports people look up to you somehow, and want to include you in things. It is probably of a huge importance that sports were available in school, otherwise I may have really stuck out as different. Sports was kind of a balancing product in my life.

I pretty much know now that all my life I've been an Empath, I would easily pick up on peoples emotions. I thought that I was just a very emotional person as a child, and it could still be part of it, but there is much more. I was picking up on other peoples feelings very easily. When I allowed myself to feel I would pick up on others emotions. When they were sad, I would feel sad. The people I was around, I would take on their personas almost. I go back through events and can see this now. Even coaches for sports, which is strange to me to think about now, but looking back it makes a lot of sense now. So what happened, I learned to not look people in the eye, wasn't because I didn't like them, or that I didn't care about what they were saying. It was to avoid picking up their feelings and emotions. Because it could be really draining. I still to this day don't look most people in the eye. I only came to realize why about 6 months ago. Now people have said that they notice this, many just come right out and say it, and I explain to some, why this is.

Very negative people or people that are mad, and especially those that are violent, I cannot be around that energy. It will literally make my nerves go crazy. I just have to get away. It is just so hard for me to understand why they are so angry, how people can get so upset. But more than that, it is the energy that I take in, it feels so awful. It is not love, it is not what I'm used to. Of course I think most of us would choose feelings of love over negative, hurtful energy. But this would effect me all the way down to the nervous system at times.

It is good to know today, that I am an Empath. It doesn't seem to be to the level of some that I've seen on TV but it is there, and it definately helps to know this now. I think in my life, it has made some people think that I was sort of cold to them, by not looking them in the eye, and so on. That wasn't my intention, but I know that I did have to seperate myself from people somewhat in order not to take on their feelings and emotions. I understand why they would take this as meaning that I didn't like them or something. I even had some people ask me if I didn't like them. I just told people that I'm hard to read sometimes. But then with some people, I can look them in the eye most of the time, I feel completely comfortable in there presence, these would be people that are calm and full of love. I see my daughter dealing with these things quite a bit right now. She needs to be in that good energy, she can't deal with people that are angry, selfish, or mean spirited. It just doesn't register with her, and I think she too is an Empath. Maybe to a much higher level than myself.

The words aren't flowing today, like some days. I'm not really certain where to take things with this blog. I just feel like I need to start typing things out.

My awakening seems to have started from a very synchronistic event, that could even be termed fate or destiny. It was a weird thing that brought it all about. My wife had attended a couple of home show type of events in the city. Unknowing to me, she filled out a few cards and put them in the boxes for the giveaways that they had. Well one day the phone rings, which I usually don't answer the phone, if I don't know the number that is calling. But I answer the phone, and they ask for my wife. I told them she isn't here, can I take a message, the tell me they are from some prize company something and that my wife entered their drawing and won a spa package. So I'm thinking she won some $50 spa thing in the city, one of those things where they get you in the store and give you something free, then you end of spending a bunch of money there, when you go back numerous times after that. So I tell my wife about it, and give her the number to call. They tell her that she won the Grand Prize for an Owens Corning sponsored giveaway. This was the National Grand Prize, from all the entries across the nation, from all of these hundreds of home shows or something. Thousands of entries, and her name was drawn. What are the chances right? Then to add to the weirdness, I use and purchase Owens Corning products with my company that I own, there was no collusion I assure you, just another weird synchronicity. So this is like a $6,000 all inclusive trip, airfare, lodging, food, the spa packages, and so on. The Spa was the Sanctuary at Camelback Mountain, Phoenix, Arizona. I guess a lot of movie stars and hollywood types go there, and it was awesome, let me tell you. Well beyond anything I would have ever experienced in my life.

So we get two free spa things at the place. They offer tons of messages, deep tissue, all these swanky things. My wife goes online, and we are trying to choose the two that we want. She goes through almost all of them, and I'm thinking, "go on, no, not that." As if something was telling me to keep going. So I ask, "Don't they have anything else?" And she finds a page where they have things like Acupuncture and other Asian type of treatments. Well, when she says acupuncture like bells and whistles start going off in my head, so I said, "Yeah, I'm doing acupuncture." She was like, "Are you sure." "Yeah, for sure." Then there were a lot more pages of messages and such. I was getting a little bummed. I said, "There has got to be something else." Then she found this link for "consultations" And there is was "Astrology" I knew that was it, no doubt about it. I was having an astrology reading. My wife said, "Wouldn't you rather have a message?" I said, "No way." So we scheduled it all. And away we went. I had this feeling right after seeing the astrology thing that this whole thing was fated for me to have this astrology reading. I didn't know why, but it kept coming to me. I kept trying to shrug it off, as "crazy talk", but it was being shown to me, I just knew it. Can't explain it, but I felt like she won this trip, for me to meet with this astrologer, which doesn't make sense I know.

I go in to where they told us to check in for our treatments, they pointed me towards a locker room, to wait there, and the astrologer would come to get me. So, I'm waiting, and waiting, and then a guy comes in, I knew it was him, and he looks at me and says, "Craig". I got up and walked out of the locker room. I noticed right away this guy was extremely, overly excited. He said, "Oh, we have so much to talk about, we have to hurry." He kept on that we had so much to go over, and not enough time to get it all in. He was acting like a little kid, so excited. I was thinking, what is up with this guy, does he act like this with everyone? Normally, I'm pretty quiet, and keep to myself, but I had to know what was up. So I ask him if he gets this excited with everyone. He said, "Oh, no, you don't understand who you are, Craig. We have a lot to talk about." It was getting weirder and weirder by the second.

Well, for now, long story short. The reading was amazing. He knew things about me that no one knows, not even my mother, not my wife, no one. He did touch me to the soul level, and that is where my awakening began. I knew right away that something had been tapped into, and all the feelings that this trip was for me to meet with this astrologer were confirmed. I had so much going on in my head, I was trying to remember as much of what he said as possible. I didn't take notes, and I had a digital audio recorder, but out of respect for him, I didn't use it. So I scrambled afterwards to scribble down on a small notepad at the spa, all that I could remember. It was truly mindblowing, but all that he said resonated on such a deep, deep soul level, it was amazing, and as wild as some things seemed, I knew they were correct, and I had to heed them.

It wasn't long after getting back that an incredible journey began, with synchronicities and a guided learning tour full of research and understanding began. And it was in high gear as if time was short to learn and remember.

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